This post from Prodigal Magazine (one of my daily reads) really resonated with me today.
How It's Supposed to Be

I know this feeling well.  I've written before about my restlessness and yearning.  Numerous times throughout my life, I've felt like when I've finally done or accomplished ________, then life will finally begin.  I'll be able to settle down, and simply live my life.

I never feel like I've actually arrived, so I keep playing these games in my head.  I set up these scenarios that life will be so much better when: I finally meet someone, I get my student loans paid off, I can go back for more school, I move to a bigger city, I get married.  And on and on.

And a part of me feels guilty for always feeling this way.  I don't want to miss my life, constantly waiting for the next thing to happen.  Yet, I can't help but feel that this is maybe the way that God has made me.  Maybe my restlessness isn't all a bad thing.  Maybe it pushes me forward, constantly growing and seeking to become more and more of the person that He has made me to be.  Maybe it causes me to rely more on Him, rather than myself, as I learn to take risks, and live an adventurous life, rather than a safe one.

Unfortunately, restlessness is often equated with discontentment.  But I don't think that this is necessarily true - at least for me.  I love my life - I have incredible family and friends, a great job, a nice house, and a whole load of amazing life experiences.  I have so many blessings in my life - and I try to be thankful for them every day.  Yet, this doesn't mean that I want life to stay exactly as it is right now.  I remember lamenting on the passing of time, back when I was in high school.  Feeling sad that things were changing, and wishing that everything could stay just as it was then.  Fortunately, life didn't listen to me!  I'm so thankful that life is not a static thing!  That it's constantly growing, changing and moving, and that in it's growing and changing and moving, it forces us to do the same. 

One of the things that I feel like I'm constantly learning in my life is how to find joy and contentment in my present circumstances, yet not allowing myself to become so comfortable that I stop growing and stretching myself.  I don't want to ever simply just live my life, without giving it much thought.  I don't want to just wake up some morning and find that I've settled into a comfortable life, simply because it was the easiest thing to do, and what everyone around me expected me to do.  I don't want to ever feel like I've arrived.  This whole life is a journey, and I want to soak it all up - growing and learning and seeking and living all along the way.  So, today I'm learning to embrace my restlessness, and allow it to teach me and grow me.